Friday, September 6, 2013

Mom and the "NO...NO...NO"s"

April (one of my Mom's most marvelous caregivers) and I tackled the ...(No..No...No's today) ... that is the  standard reply from my Mom whenever we finally decide that IT IS TIME....to bathe and shampoo my dear, beloved Mother)

So...today April and I did the deed.  And even though Mom was very vocal in opposition...once we managed to get her transferred from the wheel chair to the shower bench...the response from Mom changed....from..No...No...No...to...OH...THAT FEELS GOOD!


A caregiver has to respect the negative response from their patient when it comes to bathing, eating,..or even an evening wheelchair stroll around the wonderful landscaped complex where the patient lives. 

I, as her daughter and her primary caregiver for the last decade have more options.

I know and I decide, that Mom will benefit and enjoy getting outside, seeing her neighbors....eating an ice cream cone...even though she says NO.    It's extremely difficult for an obedient and loving daughter to over rule her mother's wishes.  And this is just another aspect of the dilemma of caring for a loved one with dementia. 

However, I've been there with Mom.  Done the endless health care visits, wept at the loss of cognizance,...got the 2 am paranoid phone calls...struggled to get her off the floor when she has fallen...held her when she cried for her Mother to come to take her home and now the end game...not eating...not swallowing...Dementia...God Save Me from this.

But I will end on a good note.  Mom has been bathed, moisturized, powered, combed and dressed.  She is exhausted but comfortable.  I am happy that I was able to do what was needed to be done without any harm to my Mom.

Today was a good day.